It all started when Ferdinand PiĆ«ch, the swivel-eyed former boss of Volkswagen, bought Bugatti and had someone design a concept car. “This,” he said, “is what the next Bugatti will look like.” And then, without consulting anyone, he went on. “And it will have an engine that develops 1000 horsepower and it will be capable of 400kph.”
His engineers were horrified. But they set to work anyway, mating two Audi V8s to create an 8 litre W16. Which was then garnished with four turbochargers. Needless to say, the end result produced about as much power as the earth’s core, which is fine. But somehow the giant had to be cooled, which is why the Veyron has no engine cover and why it has 10 — count them — 10 radiators. Then things got tricky because the power had to be harnessed.
For this, VW went to Ricardo, a British company that makes gearboxes for various Formula One teams.
“God, it was hard,” said one of the engineers I know vaguely. “The gearbox in an F1 car only has to last a few hours. Volkswagen wanted the Veyron’s to last 10 or 20 years. And remember, the Bugatti is a damn sight more powerful than any F1 car.”
The result, a seven-speed double-clutch flappy paddle affair, took a team of 50 engineers five years to perfect.
With this done, the Veyron was shipped to Sauber’s F1 wind tunnel where it quickly became apparent that while the magic 1000bhp figure had been achieved, they were miles off the target top speed of 400kph (248mph). The body of the car just wasn't aerodynamic enough, and Volkswagen wouldn’t let them change the basic shape to get round the problem.
The bods at Sauber threw up their hands, saying they only had experience of aerodynamics up to maybe 360kph, which is the effective top speed in Formula One. Beyond this point Bugatti was on its own.
Somehow they had to find an extra 30kph, and there was no point in looking to the engine for answers because each extra 1kph increase in speed requires an extra 8bhp from the power plant. An extra 30kph then would need an extra 240bhp. That was not possible.
The extra speed had to come from changing small things on the body. They started by fitting smaller door mirrors, which upped the top speed a bit but at too high a price. It turned out that the bigger ones had been keeping the nose of the car on the ground. Without them the stability was gone.
In other words, the door mirrors were generating downforce. That gives you an idea of how much of a bastard the air can be at this speed.
After some public failures, fires and accidents, and one chief being fired, they hit on the idea of a car that automatically changes shape depending on what speed you’re going.
At 137mph, the nose of the car is lowered by 2in and the big rear spoiler slides into the slipstream. The effect is profound. You can feel the back of the car being pressed into the road.
However, with the spoiler in place the drag is so great you’re limited to just 231mph. To go faster than that you have to stop and insert your ignition key in a slot on the floor. This lowers the whole car still further and locks the big back wing down. Now you have reduced downforce, which means you won’t be going round any corners, but you have a clean shape. And that means you can top 400kph. That’s 370ft a second.
You might want to ponder that for a moment. Covering the length of a football pitch, in a second, in a car. And then you might want to think about the braking system. A VW Polo will generate 0.6g if you stamp on the middle pedal hard. You get that from the air brake alone on a Veyron. Factor in the carbon ceramic discs and you will pull up from 250mph in just 10sec. Sounds good, but in those 10sec you’ll have covered a third of a mile. That’s five football pitches to stop.
This car cannot be judged in the same way that we judge other cars. It meets drive-by noise and emission regulations and it can be driven by someone whose only qualification is an ability to reverse round corners and do an emergency stop. So technically it is a car. And yet it just isn’t.
Other cars are small guesthouses on the front at Brighton and the Bugatti is the Burj Al Arab. It makes even the Enzo and the Porsche Carrera GT feel slow and pointless. It is a triumph for lunacy over common sense, a triumph for man over nature and a triumph for Volkswagen over absolutely every other car maker in the world.
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